I recently received a piece of first class mail from the Conservative Caucus. I’m now regularly getting such mail from right wingers, fundraising stuff primarily, simply because I filled out a questionnaire that asked “How is President Rumpt doing as leader of our great country.”

I gave him a poor grade and then added some additional comments in the space provided. I wasn’t too specific other than to say, “He’s an asshole.”

It was an online survey and when I went to submit it wouldn’t. It obviously wasn’t going to accept a negative response. Now I get mail from right wingers.

The first class correspondence said “Stand with Rumpt Against Impeachment.” A byline said “A Project of The Conservative Caucus.”

It was a very personal piece of mail. In the top left corner of the envelope it said, as a reminder:

Enclosed is my…

• Signed Birthday Card for Melania Rumpt

• Completed 2026 Stop the Rumpt Impeachment Survey

• Donation to STAND WITH RUMPT AGAINST IMPEACHMENT

I signed the birthday card with my alternative name, Tserrof Nosnhoj. I also told the First Lady that I liked her shoes and that she had nice hats. I didn’t get into any other details such as questioning her why she would marry a guy like that. That’s her problem.

I didn’t quite complete the survey because the questions were such softballs but I did ask “Why are you guys so worried about impeachment? I mean, he got away with an attack on the capitol and he’s an asshole. Seems like assholes get away with everything today.” 

In terms of a donation to The Conservative Caucus I gladly sent a check for one cent. I did look into the bylaws of the National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) about such gifts to a group sticking up for an asshole and it was deemed appropriate.

The whole exercise made me look into the 501(c)3 nonprofit with a yearly budget of more than three million. They are a constitutional originalist bunch and in their view the Constitution has been grossly misconstrued through the years and that any and all federal agencies and their activities are unconstitutional. Maybe the United States Postal Service gets a bye because that agency is mentioned in the original document but I don’t know. They want to privatize every function of government except the national defense, or the War Department as they like to call themselves now. A private army, navy, air force and marines might look a little funny even to their adherents. Private military. That sounds a little bit like the Mob or a Mexican cartel or the protection racket of some two-bit dictator.

In other news: Texas Public Schools will require Bible readings as part of the state’s English language curriculum. Get the God of Moses and Jimmy Swaggert back in the classroom. Teach the Lord’s Prayer to all the little kiddies right after the updated American History class that absolves all students of the guilt of the nation’s past sins. No mention of the Quran, the teachings of Confucius, Taoism, Indigenous oral traditions, Buddhism, the Hindus and the Bhagavad Gita or the Druze and the Epistles of Wisdom. There are so many choices to ignore in our new America of the past. 

Today’s guest reader: Pope Leo! 

Next Week: President Rumpt!

In following week’s watch for: Bozo the Clown, His Honor Clarence Hump, Cheetah the chimpanzee, Tolton R. Murphy, Swami Clyde Olson with his Swedish-Hindu take on the Book of Revelations and a special appearance by the ghost of Billy Graham.

Watch your church bulletin for further Texas public school announcements.