A screenshot of a seemingly crazed Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene warning people not to eat cheeseburgers because the government and Bill Gates are watching, or something like that.

I’ve long had an intense dislike for MAGA goofball Marjorie Taylor Greene. She has an ugly spirit and is so stupid that her photo could illustrate the word in any dictionary.

However, I set myself the Herculean task of looking for the light in these dark times, and in that light, I now see MTG as a rodeo clown offering bits of comic relief in between the real horror show.

So, if I need a pick-me-up from the travails of Trump, I’ll go to the MTG Youtube video where she is spinning another one of her conspiracy theories. This time it’s the government spying on everything you do, including eating food and later expelling it. They want to know not only when you poop, she explains, but if you’re regular.

Marjorie proves her brain is pea-sized with this tidbit in the video from her MTG Live feed: “They want to know if you’re eating a cheeseburger, which is very bad because Bill Gates wants you to eat this fake meat that grows in a PEACH TREE DISH [emphasis added]. So you’ll probably get a little zap inside your body and that’s saying, ‘No, no, don’t eat a real cheeseburger. You need to eat the fake burger, the fake meat, from Bill Gates.’”

There’s so much wrong here, but the fact that MTG renames the petri dish a peach tree dish, unwittingly in the comedic manner of Mrs. Malaprop, well, you have to laugh – just don’t concentrate too much on the fact that she was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives by fellow human beings who live in Georgia or you might find yourself crying instead. 

Seeing that she represents Georgia, the peach state, you think she might have been curious enough before going on this rant to Google what the heck is a peach tree dish anyway? But, no need. Full speed ahead! Damn the torpedoes. Large Marge is on the loose. 

And that zap in your body to make you crave one of Bill Gates’ fake burgers. Wow, what is that lady taking? She even explodes her hand in the video to give an example of the zap you’ll feel the next time you want a cheeseburger (see photo above). Hilarious. She should take it on the road.

Gazpacho police: Way back in 2022 when House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was a favorite GOP punching bag, MTG, again with spying on her paranoid mind, said:

“We have Nancy Pelosi’s GAZPACHO POLICE [emphasis added] spying on members of Congress, spying on the legislative work that we do, spying on our staff and spying on American citizens that want to come talk to their representatives.”

For someone who likes throwing around Third Reich references as much as MTG (she once called Biden “Nazi Joe”), she doesn’t know much about the regime. In this malapropism, Large Marge meant gestapo, the ruthless secret police unit established to crush opposition during the Nazi years. Gazpacho is a cold vegetable soup from Spain, often eaten in a peach tree dish.

Critical Race Theory: MTG and her dark-haired dimwit twin from Colorado, Lauren Boebert, somehow are allowed to serve on the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. 

During a hearing of that committee, Greene asked the comptroller general why the government was giving so much money to CRT. The comptroller general asked “CRT?” 

MTG replied: “Critical Race Theory. It’s used to teach children that somehow their white skin is not equal to black skin and other things in education.” 

Comp gen replied that fed funds are not to be used for curriculum. Greene corrected him by saying that $5 billion was given to an Illinois elementary school for CRT. 

It turns out that Illinois did receive $5 billion from the feds, and it was dispersed to 851 school districts in the state. None of that money went to Marjorie’s Critical Race Theory.

Marge’s racism is not funny, but her lack of brains is. Who else in the world would believe that a single elementary school would receive $5 billion from the feds? That could buy all the Critical Race Theory anyone could want, I bet.

This, of course, is just a soupçon (that’s soup can to you, Marge) of MTG’s ongoing public display of her monumental unworthiness to hold public office. I didn’t even bring up the Jewish space lasers.

Jeezuz, Georgia, wake up will ya?