In their ongoing, all-out assault to crush labor unions, corporate forces have fabricated a cultural myth to undermine popular support for labor: Unions, they insist, are no longer needed. They tell us that in today’s entrepreneurial economy, workers must compete with each other not cooperate.
Before swallowing that wad of hornswoggle, let’s revisit Flight 1549. As it took off from New York City in 2009, the jet hit a flock of geese, lost all power, and had nowhere to try a crash landing. But Capt. Sully Sullenberger knew what to do: Use the Hudson River as a landing strip! Amazingly, it worked! Dubbed the “Miracle on the Hudson,” the lives of all 150 passengers were saved.
But no supernatural powers were at work – Captain Sully himself is not only a member of the Airline Pilots Association, but also served on that union’s national governing committee and was its former safety chairman. Indeed, he and the APA union have had to fight airline chieftains who keep trying to cut back on the safety training programs that teach crews how to save lives.
Nor was Sully alone in this “miracle.” The cool-headed flight attendants who quickly moved 150 nearly-panicked people off the plane were members of the Association of Flight Attendants, another union that trains to avert disasters. The ferry crews that zipped into action, skillfully maneuvering their boats within four inches of the plane’s wings to rescue passengers – they’re in the Seafarers International Union, which gives them the safety courses that enabled them to respond as they did. The cops, firefighters, and air traffic controllers also performed marvelously – all union trained.
At a time when corporate interests in all sectors of our economy are trying to eliminate unions, remember Flight 1549 – the Union-Made Miracle on the Hudson.

Let’s adopt the GOP’s national platform

Well, I didn’t expect this!
The National Republican Party has published an official policy document showing that the GOP really might be more than a gaggle of serve-the-rich plutocrats and wacky, Trumped-up right-wingers. Just when you thought the party was consuming itself in the know-nothingism of its presidential pretenders and the recalcitrant do-nothingism of its congress critters, out comes a sign of sanity.
In this 18-page manifesto, the party proclaims that, “Our government was created by the people for all the people, and it must serve no less a purpose.” ALL the people! Forget pontifications by Wall Street billionaires dividing America into virtuous “creators” (like themselves) and worthless “moochers” (like you and me) – this document abounds with commitments to the common good. “America does not prosper,” it proudly proclaims on page three, “unless all Americans prosper.” Wow – that’s downright democratic!
And how’s this for a complete turnaround: “Labor is the United States. The men and women, who with their minds, their hearts and hands, create the wealth that is shared in this country – they are America.” Holy Koch brothers, share the wealth?
Yes, and how about this: “The protection of the right of workers to organize into unions and to bargain collectively is the firm and permanent policy of the [Republican Party].” Eat your heart out, Scott Walker, and you other labor-bashing GOP governors!
The document also supports our public postal service, the United Nations, equal rights for women, expanding our national parks, “vigorous enforcement of anti-trust laws,” and raising the minimum wage. New enlightenment in the Grand Old Party. Hallelujah!
Can all this be true? Yes – except it’s not new. This document is the Republican Party Platform… of 1956.

“Republican Party Platform of 1956,” www.presidency.ucsb.edu, August 20, 1956.

How to buy a president for only 30 bucks and change

For today’s report, I have a bunch of statistics for you. Wait… don’t run away! Where are you going? Come back here and sit still while I drill these stats into your head!
I realize that numbers can numb the brain, but this is a good story, and I promise that these statistics are easy to absorb. In fact, the number 400 pretty much sums it up. It’s a story of political intrigue and corruption involving some of America’s wealthiest families and corporations.
Start with the “Billionaire 400,” a clique of the elite organized by the conniving Koch brothers. These ultra-rich right-wingers gather each winter in some warm weather resort for a secretive, invitation-only retreat. There, they plot strategies and pledge money for electing politicos who’ll support their vision of corporate rule in America. For the 2016 elections, they’ve already committed nearly a billion dollars to impose their vision of plutocracy over our democratic ideals – double the combined amount that the Republican and Democratic parties will spend.
Then, there are the secretive SuperPACs that’re sacking-up tens of millions of dollars to back various presidential candidates. Again, a mere 400 corporations and rich families – each writing checks for hundreds of thousands and even millions of dollars – have put up nearly half of all the money in these electioneering committees.
But now, here comes the antidote to this corruption of our politics by fat cats. Instead of being financed by 400 special interests, Bernie Sanders’ campaign has raised its $15 million from 400,000 ordinary Americans. In fact, the average donation to Bernie is a heartwarming, soul-saving $31.30!
You can’t buy a president for 30 bucks – but you can help elect one who isn’t owned by Big Money. Isn’t that the way it ought to be?

Scott Walker’s incredible foreign policy

It’s time now for the latest chapter in the thrilling global adventures of: “Scott Walker, Commando!”
Walker – the right-wing Wisconsin governor who’s backed by the mighty money muscle of the Koch brothers – is known chiefly for advancing the corporate agenda by ferociously busting unions, slashing education, assailing teachers, and attacking welfare recipients. But now, having been served so well by Walker in the statehouse, Team Koch wants him in the White House, where he would try to do to our nation what he’s done to Wisconsin. But, uh-oh, they’ve hit a speed bump in their plans.

It turns out that presidents are expected to deal with foreign policy, and – as New York Times columnists Tim Egan recently noted – Walker’s international experience amounts to having eaten at the International House of Pancakes. Thus, image makers have been parachuted in to create – “Commando Walker” – a hardline, battle-ready commander-in-chief. Unfortunately, Scottie has the look and demeanor of a Wimpo, rather than a Rambo, so the handlers have tried to compensate by writing an über-militant foreign policy for him. Thus, just for starters, Walker is calling for (1) American boots (and blood) on the ground in Iraq to battle ISIS; (2) military action to make Iran give up all of its nuclear programs; and (3) arming Ukraine to fight Russia. Plus, he’s even saber-rattling at the Chinese.
Well, not saber-rattling – more like fork & spoon rattling. Walker is demanding that President Obama cancel the upcoming White House State Dinner for China’s President Xi Jinping. Wow, that’ll shake them up – cancel their dinner, Commando Scott, and you’ll have the Chinese eating right out of your hand!
How pathetic! Walker’s no commando, no commander-in-chief, either. He’s just a lightweight twig pretending to be presidential timber.

“Walker calls for U.S. combat role against militants,” San Francisco Chronicle, August 29, 2015.
“Weakening Yet Still Aggressive, China Poses Test for U.S. Presidential Candidates,” The New York Times, August 28, 2015.
“Crash-Test Dummies,” The New York Times, August 28, 2015.