Well now, here’s some unexpected news! It comes from what purports to be an official document of the National Republican Party. And – wow! – the policy positions it contains show that party leaders really are serious about coming to their senses and rejecting the plutocratic extremism and far-right wackiness that was to evident in their congressional, and gubernatorial campaigns. Right at the top, this 18-page manifesto proclaims that, “Our government was created by the people for all the people, and it must serve no less a purpose.” ALL the people! Forget pontifications by Wall Street billionaires dividing America into virtuous “creators” (like themselves) and worthless “moochers” (like you and me) – this document abounds with commitments to the common good. “America does not prosper,” it proudly proclaims on page three, “unless all Americans prosper.” Shazam – that’s downright democratic!
And how’s this for a complete turnaround: “Labor is the United States. The men and women, who with their minds, their hearts and hands, create the wealth that is shared in this country – they are America.” Holy Koch brothers, share the wealth?
Yes, and how about this: “The protection of the right of workers to organize into unions and to bargain collectively is the firm and permanent policy of the [Republican Party].” Eat your heart out, Scott Walker, and you other labor-bashing GOP governors!
The document also supports the postal service, the United Nations, equal rights for women, expanding our national parks, “vigorous enforcement of anti-trust laws,” and raising the minimum wage. New enlightenment in the Grand Old Party. Hallelujah!
Can all this be true? Yes – except it’s not new. This document is the Republican Party Platform… of 1956.

“Republican Party Platform of 1956,” www.presidency.ucsb.edu, August 20, 1956.

A whining Wall Street banker pleads for pity

Jamie is PO’d. He’s fed up with all of this populistic attitude that’s sweeping the country, and he’s not going to take it anymore!
Jamie Dimon recently bleated to reporters that, “Banks are under assault.” Well, not most banks, but JPMorgan Chase, America’s largest Wall Street empire, which Jamie heads. Government regulators, snarls Jamie, are pandering to grassroots populist anger at Wall Street excesses by squeezing the life of JP Morgan casino. But wait – didn’t JPMorgan score a $22 billion profit last year, a 20 percent increase over 2013 and the highest in its history? And didn’t those Big Bad Oppressive Government Regulators provide a $25 billion taxpayer bailout in 2008 to save Jamie’s conglomerate from its own reckless excess? And isn’t this Wall Street popinjay raking in some $20 million in personal pay to suffer the indignity of this so- called “assault” on his bank. Yes, yes, and yes. Still, Jamie says that regulators are piling on JPMorgan Chase: “In the old days,” he whined, “you dealt with one regulator when you had an issue. Now it’s five or six. You should all ask the question about how American that is,” the $20-million-a-year man lectured to reporters, “how fair that is.” Well, golly, one reason Chase has half-a-dozen regulators on its case is because it doesn’t have “an issue” of illegality, but beaucoup illegalities, including deceiving its own investors, cheating more than two million of its credit card customers, gaming the rules to overcharge electricity users in California and the Midwest, overcharging active-duty military families on their mortgages, illegally foreclosing on troubled homeowners, and … well, so much more.
So Jamie, you should ask yourself the question about “how fair” is all of the above. Then you should shut up, count your millions, and be grateful you’re not in jail.

“Morgan Chase Chief Says ‘Banks Are Under Assault,’” www.nytimes.com, January 14, 2015.
“Tracking the $700 Billion Bailout,” www.nytimes.com, 2015.
“J.P. Morgan Adds $206 Billion to Its $25 Billion Plus Tally of Recent Settlements,” www.wsj.com, January 7, 2015.
“JPMorgan Chase,” www.wikipedia.org, 2015.

Death of the lush, green lawn

My father was an early member of a group now known disparagingly as “ultra-lawn people.”
“High,” as everyone called him, was dedicated, body and soul, to the Sisyphean task of trying to maintain a lawn full of lush St. Augustine grass in hot, dry Texas. He planted, watered, fertilized, watered, mowed, watered, fought bugs and brown patch, watered, re-planted, watered… ad nauseum. Some years he won, in other years, nature rolled him.
High departed his lawn and this Earth well before climate change turned Texas from merely hot & dry into scorched & parched. I know he would’ve denied it at first, but I think even he would’ve finally given in to today’s new reality: In our drought-ravaged Southwest, the lush lawn is dead. Literally and ethically.
From Texas to Southern California, city after city is adapting to nature. They’re policing neighborhoods to impose big fines on excessive lawn watering, paying homeowners and businesses to rip out grass and replace it with desertscapes, and even outlawing grass yards in new developments. And, it’s working. A pioneering 2003 turf-removal rebate program in Las Vegas, for example, has now pulled 168 million feet of thirsty lawn grass out of the area, saved more than 9 billion gallons of water, and cut water use by a third, even as the population has mushroomed.
Such an effort would’ve been treated as heresy only a decade ago, but now it’s simply considered the right thing to do. This is not merely an environmental adjustment, but a fundamental ethical shift, especially among younger people. The idea that green lawns are exercises in ecological narcissism has taken root in this arid and politically conservative region – demonstrating that conservatism really can be about conserving. Mother Nature and future generations will be grateful.

www.snwa.com.
“Arid Southwest Cities’ Plea: Lose the Lawn,” The New York Times, August 12, 2013.