LARSMONT… You know, if you follow college hockey with regularity and fervor, that it can be a long season. From early October to mid-April there is some kind of action every weekend. I must profess that during that lengthy season, there will be two to three weekends when I miss those series and am probably somewhere or doing something that precludes me from going to, watching on TV, or listening to any games on the radio or internet. Sadly, the recent Bulldog-Gopher weekend was one of them. That’s a tough one for me because those are weekends that are circled on my calendar.
Alas, I had to settle for some updates from the Fan Jr. via text about the proceedings of the weekend. That’s about all the info I got. I was in a remote area of Tennessee and barely had cell phone coverage, and I am not a big phone user, so needless to say I don’t have a “smart” phone. I have looked into them and may make the leap at some point, but haven’t had the yearning to do so yet. I’m not much for texting and have only a small circle of people I stay in contact with over the phone. But those smart phones really are something, eh? Any electronic device that can get 80 percent of the population walking around staring at the palm of their hand most of the day, while extracting pretty good sums of money from them at the same time, must have some modicum of intelligence that humans haven’t figured out thus far.
Most weeks I give a look at some of the offerings from my fellow contributors at the Reader. I have got to say that the group has a variety and quality about them that you don’t find in every publication. So, post UMD-U of M weekend, I saw the next edition of our vaunted paper, and right there in bold print was John Gilbert’s offering for the week, titled “Bulldogs Disassemble Gopher Ice Machine”! What in the world, I was thinking. Not knowing much about the series, I had to call some hockey homeboys down in the Metro and find out what exactly in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks happened there.
It turns out that after the Friday night tilt at Mariucci Arena, sometime after the ice machine was done being used for the night, four Bulldog players allegedly snuck into the ice machine room with a tool box and took the ice machine apart! Yes! They took as much of it apart as they could and snuck back out to catch the team bus headed back for the Zenith City to prepare for the Saturday evening contest. I must note here that no parts were damaged or missing from the ice machine. The players (unidentified; two forwards, one D-man and a goalie, and one of them surely must be studying mechanical engineering) were careful and diligent in their work, and since no vandalism or theft occurred, no investigation was launched and the matter was considered closed. A technician came out on Sunday after the series concluded and put the Gopher ice machine back together…

THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE regular season has hit the quarter pole, and as one would expect there are surprises, disappointments, and some of the old “about what I expected” kind of stuff. In weighing out who I believe are the top 16 teams in the show right now and thus potential playoff qualifiers, I looked at an array of info and reached some interesting conclusions. I must also note here that in a day and age when advanced analytics and Corsi numbers are given much sway versus what we think and feel, I have to wonder if there are some clubs paying way too much attention to that data instead of just going out and playing some basic, solid ice hockey. Does there exist a handful of clubs that are playing for their analytics and Corsi numbers and not getting positive W-L results? So, here we go with the top eight in the East and in the West:

THE EASTERN CONFERENCE:

1. PITTSBURGH PENGWAH. Great at home, as good on the road. Plus 26 diff…
2. TAMPA LIGHTNING. Stamkos on the way to Richard trophy?
3. NY ISLANDERS. 9-2 home record, 8-2 in L10, no OT losses or wins…
4. MONTREAL CANADIENS. Win by one goal, usually lose by 5-plus, diff is only +2...
5. DETROIT RED WINGS. 7-2-1 in L10, G Howard resurges, four-game win streak….
6. BOSTON BRUIN. Not high on Bs, even when Big Z returns. 0.500 road club…
7. FLORIDA PANTHERS. This club is going to make the playoffs, believe it…
8. NY RANGERS. Pre-season, I said Ranger would step back, but if they do, that means psycho, characterless Leafs get in… (Sorry, Todd L!)
 
THE WESTERN CONFERENCE:

1. CHICAGO BLACKHAWK. Not on top now, but would you want them in a winner-take-all series?
2. NASHVILLE PREDATORS. New coach, G Rinne back to health and form, and they are scoring! 10-1-1 at home, 8-2 L10, four-game win streak…
3. ST. LOUIS BLUES. May be unsettled in goal at moment, but +15 diff, 7-2-1 in L10, and winning at a .666 clip…
4. VANCOUVER CANUCKS. Hard to see the Canuck here after last year’s “Torts” disaster, but this team must be Van’s version of “Torts” reform. 16-7-1 after first 24 tilts…
5. LA KING. 2-8 on the road, 5-3-2 in L10, and in April, May and June they will probably beat the snuff out of you on the ice…
6. CALGARY FLAME. Anyone see this coming? Unlikely duo of Brian Burke and Bob Hartley leads this resurgence. 15-8-2 and 7-3 in L10…
7. ANAHEIM DUCK. 14-6-5 at the moment and unimpressive. Just about equal home and road records. 4-3-3 L10 and on two-game L streak…
8. Tie/MINNESOTA WILD AND WINNIPEG JETS. Jets have 28 pts. versus Wild’s 27, but Wild have two games in hand. Jets better on road than at home, Wild better at home than on road. I would give the Wild an edge here with a better, deeper offense than the Peg. Wild +10 diff, Winni -4.

I’ll take another look at this at the All Star break with more info. Until then, it has been an exciting season so far, and the West could be a dog fight for the last couple of spots. Right now the Wild might be out depending on what they do with their games in hand… PEACE

Marc Elliott is a sports opinion writer who splits his time between Minnesota and his hometown in Illinois.