A year or so before Duluth~Superior Magazine closed its doors, Duluth doctor Chris Delp started a column about sports. One of his most memorable quotes, in describing martial arts, was something like “nothing motivates like a punch to the face”. From the mom who summons the strength to lift a car off her trapped child to the fortitude and endurance Aron Ralston displayed when he cut off his own hand, danger brings us to our best selves athletically. Karate, kickboxing, and all the rest bring sculpted bodies with them.
Locally, boxers Al Sands and Andy Kolle are in phenomenal shape. On a national level, Mike Tyson and Mohammed Ali were around 240 pounds and you could STILL see their abs. And have you seen the men of Dragonball Z? I concede they’re cartoon characters, but you get my point. Fighting makes people strong.
Heading to my first Cardio Kickboxing class at Superior’s Kinetic Fitness, I was a bit nervous. I’ve actually worked out with Andy Kolle before, but my definition of a workout is his definition of a warmup. My brother Michael, a second degree black belt, claims he’s not a fitness guy, but I’m pretty sure kicking people in the head until you’re covered with sweat counts as a workout.
 I stepped into the gym to find myself with 12 women and zero other men. The instructor and one other man came a bit later, but it still felt a little like English class at the College of Saint Scholastica. Except for four of the women, every other student was quite heavyset. We started out slowly with some stretches, and then, as the class progressed to combinations of kicks and punches, got more and more intense.
At least I did. I dove into the routine (kicking, punching, more kicking and punching) with a lot of enthusiasm. I’m only 5’7 and if I ever have to fight someone, I’ll need all the practice I can get. Plus, I needed to make up for the eight miles I didn’t run today. But while I was breathing heavily, sweating, and generally having a bad time, I suddenly looked around and realized I was the only one.
Earlier, I mentioned “nothing motivates like a punch to the face”. The Wall Street Journal’s Jason Gay has another great saying: “No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading ‘The New Yorker’ and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle.” In a kickboxing class with no danger, can there really be an incentive to improve?
Our instructor was hitting the bag like it had just insulted his mother. The other students, though, were using all the force you’d use to tap someone on the shoulder. It was like the world’s worst game of “Tag”—you’re always “it”, the only other player is a stationary punching bag, and you have to keep tagging it.
Not me. I punched and kicked with most of the ferocity I could muster. At the end, we did an entertaining drill where we pushed the bags together. While the rest of us did calisthenics like planks or pushups, one member of the group went in the center, whirled around punching and kicking until all the bags were soundly defeated, and then the next person was up.
I sprinted to the bags, whaled on all of them as hard as I could, and let my inner Bruce Lee (or Goku) come to life. It was a lot of fun, until the fourth round, when it was suddenly a lot less fun. Did you know calisthenics are tiring? On their turns, the rest of my group continued the game of Tag from earlier. We finished with a cool-down, which seemed entirely superfluous for most of the other students.
Here’s the moral of the story. I had fun at that workout. But the reason I go to group fitness classes is so the environment motivates me to improve. The classes I go to normally are popular with ice climbers, mountain bikers, and otherwise borderline insane fitness junkies. I get yelled at if I go too slow there. Here, at Cardio Kickboxing, it was like I had to bring the energy myself.
Some people have an intrinsic drive to stay fit. They don’t even really need a gym—they could get fit with a roll of dental floss and a 40-pound sack of flour. I, on the other hand, would rather hit the couch than the bag. If I’m going to go further with kickboxing, it’s going to be at my brother’s karate studio. I still might let my attention slip, but at least someone will punch me for it.
You Can Try It

I really enjoyed Kinetic Fitness’ online registration system, which was the smoothest and easiest to use I’ve ever experienced. You can sign up for a free week and try any class you want at:

http://kinetic-superior.com
1613 Tower Avenue, Superior
715-394-5348

Robert Lillegard was the web/calendar editor for Duluth~Superior Magazine for four years and wrote the Duluth Grill Cookbook.