These shoes will cure all apathy

Forrest Johnson

People talk about all sorts of woes that afflict our national karma, the lackluster economy, the New Conservative Neanderthal Party (formerly the Republicans), the high cost of medical care and the industrial food system that feeds poor health, climate change, militarization, racism. All these deserve our attention but there is a root cause that has gone unseen for far too long.
Apathy. Plain old apathy. The simple lack of interest to see that the little old world, our only home, is in dire need of help.
We spill chemicals into the water. We spill nuclear waste. We coat the landscape with chemicals so we have food to eat. We rip up the earth and burn fossil fuels with reckless abandon and fill our only breathable space with pollution.
Apathy blinds us to this.  
Don’t think we’ve solved the problem of pollution, lost in the overall debate about climate change. While we continue to pump greenhouse gases into the atmosphere we also continue to pump copious amounts of plain old pollution into our breathing space as well as spilling plenty of other noxious stuff into our water and onto our lands. There are over seven billion of us on the planet now and while we may not be spewing our waste into our living space as visibly as we used to in this country, we’re still pumping more waste than we ever have before. Multiply that by China and India and Russia and we’ve got a whopper of a problem we avoid very handily.
Apathy.     
While the National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) has never condoned the use of modern medicines and pharmaceuticals to solve our problems we do believe it’s time to get in the game with a very holistic version that will cure the apathetic state of affairs that is lingering over the nation.
It’s not a pill. Not a suppository. Not a gel that you rub all over your body.
Made from the wings of butterflies and a touch of luck, and blessed by the most holistic of podiatrists, NUFA Anti-Apathy Shoes are the cure for what ails us. Brought to the public eye by none other than the Exalted Shack Master himself, these shoes are made for walking apathy right out of the picture.
Long ago, during a distant deer season at Camp Shack NUFA Headquarters, all the hunters were in a state of malaise, apathetic to the point that they wouldn’t even order a cup of rum from the many personal bartenders scurrying about.
The excuses were many.
“What’s the use?”
“The deer are avoiding us.”
“There’s nothing we can do about it so why try”.
“It’s pointless.”
“The world’s just too big.”
Finally, sitting with a fine cup of rum and his feet singing like Cab Calloway in a new pair of boots given to him by the Dalai Wally, the Exalted Shack Master saw it was time to get busy in the shoe department.
As he explained later, “The guys were moping around with bad attitudes and enough apathy to keep the sun from shining. There I was sitting on top of the world with a new pair of boots. I’m no rocket scientist but it was the shoes, or lack of them for the fellows, that was the problem. I could see that immediately.”
The Dalai Wally was summoned.
“Where can we get the magic shoes and chase that old devil Apathy right out of this shack,” the Exalted Shack Master asked the registered NUFA spiritual advisor.
“Why we make them at our non-robotic, more than living wage with a pension, non-apathethic factory right down near the Road to Utopia. How many pairs do you need?”
The moping men were sounding like a herd of dry cows in the background. The ice was melting in their drinks fast. Within hours the shoes and boots arrived and the March Against Apathy was begun. Another group of men were determined to head up a march to blow out all the candles of the fracking party in North Dakota. Still another group had organized a revolt that would attract the younger generation to drop their hand held electronic devices and get busy to change the way capitalism works against the environment and the peoples of the world.
The Exalted Shack master sat back, his feet happy in shoes made from the wings of butterflies and a touch of luck. The revolution had begun. The shoes will be made available to the world in many styles and sizes.
We just might get to solving those problems that have dogged mankind for the ages after all. Call NUFA for your free catalog today and tackle the problems of the world with reckless abandon.