Day 17 of captivity. I’ve not been away from my children for more than a few hours for days and days and days. It’s too cold to do anything, and even if it wasn’t it wouldn’t matter as everything is covered in disgusting piles of snow. Schools have been closed forever and we are starting to get on each other’s last nerve. If we have a last nerve left. The two children are staring at me from across the room. The boys hair is full of paint and there are pieces of Cheetos imbedded in his ear. The girl looks annoyed, irritated. She’s snapping her gum and tapping her foot. Even the dogs are looking at me funny, expectant almost, as most surely I should be entertaining them too. I’m beginning to think that before anyone decides to take up residence in Minnesota they need to be given a crash course on surviving many days of house-bound nothingness.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids more than anything on this whole planet and usually spending time with them is my favorite thing to do, but this is different. In this aspect we have no options and there is just not enough to do. Yesterday while watching Dr. Phil and educating them on the dangers of living in a world of predatory offenders, my daughter looked and me and announced “this isn’t what we should be doing right now.” Deep down, I know that. I don’t like to be the mom who says just go watch TV, but really it’s at the point that I don’t know what else to do. I’ve built every set of legos for my son that one can possibly even know exists. We have done fingernails and toe nails and tried our own hot oil treatment on my daughter’s hair (thanks pinterest) We online shopped and baked and crafted and stared at each other until we went cross eyed (yes on purpose, it was a contest, thanks youtube)

I tell myself this is almost over and school will most definitely be back on tomorrow but now I just heard this projected forecast for tomorrow and I’m beginning to grow concerned....and most unprepared. I’m surprised at myself, I know all about Minnesota winters, this isn’t new. But is it just me or does it feel like we are being punished this year? Something is off, everyday there is basically some new weather danger pinging at me from my phone. Temperatures below zero are now considered normal. The other day when it was five above I actually heard myself say “it’s not that bad today” and then I slapped my self and said shut up because no! 5 above is bad! It’s really bad. Maybe the cold wouldn’t even be so terrible if we hadn’t already been inundated with more snow then we literally know what to do with.

For whatever reason Duluth did a pretty lousy job on street clean ups this year too. I can’t really even blame the city or the plow drivers though, I blame mother nature for being so relentless. For a long period we just kept getting hit. That means that every time we got snow on top of snow it just kept building and freezing and now I think it’s at the point where there just isn’t anything to do with it. Roads are icy and bumpy and turn lanes are buried somewhere under the mess. Going for a drive is an option. But you have to worry about some idiot sliding into you because they are mistaken in the belief that their minivan is all powerful. You also have to think about if you break down because it’s so cold, how do you stay warm in that situation. All of that, when you have kids to take care of kind of erases the whole lets venture out plan.
    
I realize I sound like the epitome of whiny bitch right now but I don’t really care. This sucks. There used to be a time where I took the Tom Cruise approach to the idea of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that people talk about. I thought it was just ridiculous. Mind over Matter! Snap out of it, drink water, get exercise, take vitamins. Now I see what they mean. This weather is depressing. I don’t care how die hard Minnesotan you are, when you spend days and days inside because it’s dangerously cold outside, you start to feel a little crazy, yup I’m there.
    
All of this is pretty pointless, and I realize that. But I didn’t make you read it,  and if you did then deep down I bet you agree with me at least if you are a mom and not afraid to admit your children (as much as we absolutely love them) can drive you a little crazy, I’m sorry I mean cray-cray. We also did a crash course in talking cool for my daughter’s benefit.  Now forgive me, I must run. There is a lifetime movie marathon starting and I feel it’s educational. Today....