I honestly can’t remember the last time I skied with such reckless abandon on what should have been a thoroughly icy trail during a deep polar vortex. A second test run those years ago proved that even at high speeds and global weather all asunder, the new and improved Camp Shack Super Ski Wax was a resounding success.
I haven’t used the wax yet this season as the weather has proven.
Made for irascible conditions, ice, warmth, cold, high barometric pressure, condescension and lack of humility, the wax will help you through those times of personal turmoil every skier encounters on the trail at some point.
The wax was actually developed in 2006 by shack historians and researchers looking for the Northwest Passage but we lost the recipe and in recreating the mixture many obstacles were overcome.
We still aren’t sure if creating the wax has caused the topsy-turvy weather we’ve experienced ever since the start of the Persian Wars or the weather caused us to discover the secret of the ski wax.  
All we know is that it’s powerful medicine and the mixing together of the many ingredients created weather phenomena that leaped out of the lab like a genie from the bottle.
The recipe was a tough nut to crack, but crack it we did. It is now locked in a safe deposit box in town and the key is in the trusted hand of my elder daughter, just so I won’t lose it and have to go through the anxiety of trying to recreate the stuff again.
Whatever you do, don’t put the super ski wax on your skis.
You rub the secret concoction all over your body, do the voodoo, the sun comes out and the temperatures rise to a fitfully pleasant 45 degrees, no matter the ski conditions or time of day. January thaw? No, someone in Embarrass or Brimson just wants to go out for a ski and they’ve applied the wax. We don’t know the fundamental reasons why applying the wax all over yourself makes the aeather change, but we all know the mysterious structure of the universe rarely reveals itself to prying eyes. Don’t ask questions. It simply works.
I will repeat this important point once again. Do not, I repeat, do not put this super ski wax on your skis.
As I have revealed before, the development of the Camp Shack Super Ski Wax was a direct descendant of a problem that needed solving. Climate change has made waxing a headache. Springtime can be the most pleasant time of the year to ski. Warm temps, wonderful sun and gentle breezes are usually non-existent for most of the ski season. When they arrive, the trails are a mess of slush and snow, a waxing nightmare. The same holds true for those times during those years when the snows fail to fall or the trails fall into the icy grip of a polar vortex. It can be a waxing nightmare.  
Well, we don’t just sit around the shack and do nothing. We are a productive lot, even though not too many people are really interested in our patented anti-gravity deer stands, our invisible waders, our ultralight pancakes with hula sauce.
We try to help mankind solve the little problems of life.
Our Angst Lasagna was developed to release the inner turmoil of your life while you eat.
The Non-Skid Thought Organizer is a wonderful gift for loved ones that can’t quite remember what it was they were talking about just before you talked to them before they remembered what it was they were going to tell you.
Comes in two sizes, compact for those smaller cases of forgetfulness and jumbo for when you wake up in an unfamiliar field and need to take things back a few steps to find out what brought you to that location in the first place.
We’ve got anti-disappointment pills and non-alcoholic booze and levitation shoes for when you want to lose a few pounds quickly. The Edible Canoe was popular during the drought years, but sales have fallen off since the generic brands hit the market.
But I have to admit, we had never developed anything for the cross country skier. They are such self-reliant folks who just need a little wax and some snow to go along with their skis. I guess I just never thought they needed much help in this crazy old mixed up world.
I guess I just had my hands full of wax once too often.
The shack super ski wax was born.
Sample packets are available but the offer may not apply in Nebraska, Texas, Oklahoma and Rhode Island.
A good dose of metaphysics and legerdemain, a coating of non-stick wax made from the souls of butterflies, and by golly, a pair of cross country skis will perk up and think that everything is right with the world. During the trial runs the skis grabbed that snow and glided like the wind. I skied up a frozen waterfall and down a railroad trestle. It was if I had soaring birds on my feet.
Please note the following very important point. You have to be happy, and I mean happy, or the power of the wax is nullified.
We hope to have the wax available to the general public in the years before climate change eliminates the need for the winter season. These polar vortexes certainly don’t visit like they used to.