Whacking yourself on the head with a ballpeen hammer would be stupid. But doing it again and again – that’s insane.

Welcome to your US House of Representatives, presently led by a pack of tea party Republicans. They are so crazed by Obamacare that they repeatedly hammer themselves over the head with it, having voted 46 times (so far) to dismantle, defund, delay, deny, and otherwise destroy this landmark health care bill – all to not avail. They would be hilarious, were they not so pathetic.

But now, their anti-government, anti-Obama obsession has turned into insanity. Acting as though the USA is nothing more substantial than a banana republic, this tea party clique of petty potentates forced a shutdown of our national government. The craziest part of their stunt is the duplicitous claim that finally providing health care for millions of uninsured Americans will have, as one leader of the mad-dog pack put it, “horrific effects.”

Yet, even as they publicly insist that they’re heroes for trying to save the people from the horror of receiving fairly decent health coverage, the GOP hierarchy is quietly warning its members that defeating Obamacare now is essential to their own political health. Why? Because they know the program will work, providing better care and nearly universal coverage at a cheaper price. It will become widely popular, and any politico who tries to kill it later will become wildly unpopular. Even the Senator from Oz, Ted Cruz, understood that the program had to be aborted before it was born. It will be so loved, Cruz candidly conceded (as he desperately tried to suffocate Obamacare with a painfully-long filibuster), that the public will be “hooked” on it for the long haul.

Yes, Sen. Oz, the American people tend to support policies that are beneficial to them. How crazy is that?

“Those Banana Republicans,” The New York Times, October 1, 2013.

“Rebels Without a Clue,” The New York Times, September 30, 2013.

“A Committed Group of Conservatives Outflanks the House Leadership,” The New York Times, October 2, 2013.

“Cruz-y GOP tries to keep us from Big Gulp of health care,” Austin American Statesman September 20, 2013.

“DC Republicans in Full Panic Mode: Obamacare Will Be Hugely Popular and There’s Little the GOP Can Do to Stop It,” www. alter net.org, September 24, 2013.


J.P. Morgan – the man and the bank

J.P. Morgan was recently socked in the wallet by financial regulators, who levied a fine of nearly a billion bucks against the Wall Street baron for massive illegalities.

Well, not a fine against John Pierpont Morgan, the man. This 19th century robber baron was born to a great banking fortune and, by hook and crook, leveraged it to become the “King of American Finance.” During the Gilded Age, Morgan cornered the U.S. financial markets, gained monopoly ownership of railroads, amassed a vast supply of the nation’s gold, and used his investment power to create US Steel and take control of that market.

From his earliest days in high finance, Morgan was a hustler who often traded on the shady side. In the Civil War, for example, his family bought his way out of military duty, but he saw another way to serve. Himself, that is. Morgan bought defective rifles for $3.50 each and sold them to a Union general for $22 each. The rifles blew off soldiers’ thumbs, but Morgan pleaded ignorance, and government investigators graciously absolved the young, wealthy, well-connected financier of any fault.

That seems to have set a pattern for his lifetime of antitrust violations, union busting, and other over-the-edge profiteering practices. He drew numerous official charges – but of course, he never did any jail time.

Moving the clock forward, we come to JPMorgan Chase, today’s financial powerhouse bearing J.P.’s name. The bank also inherited his pattern of committing multiple illegalities – and walking away scot free. Oh sure, the bank was hit with that big fine, but not a single one of the top bankers who committed gross wrongdoing were charged or even fired – much less sent to jail.

Banks don’t commit crimes. Bankers do. And they won’t ever stop if they don’t have to pay for their crimes.

“Once Again, Punish the Bank but Not Its Top Executives,” The New York Times, September 20, 2013

“JP Morgan’s Legal Hurdles Expected to Multiply,” The New York Times, September 24, 2013.

“JPMorgan is fined $920m over London Whale fiasco,” Financial Times, September 20, 2013.

Lobbyists hope to rebrand themselves

Here’s a scary number to ponder: 12,407. That’s how many registered lobbyists there are in Washington – the bulk of whom are paid handsomely to carry water for avaricious corporations.

And that doesn’t count the untold number of influence peddlers who do not stoop to register, for they don’t consider themselves to be mere lobbyists, even though they are paid extravagant salaries by elite lobbying firms. Rather than lobby, they “advise.” These are longtime Washington insiders who act as sherpas, guiding corporate favor-seekers through the labyrinth of congressional backrooms and executive-branch offices to reach the peaks of legislative and regulatory power.

Today’s lobbying corps, you see, is no longer the domain of common hustlers, but of credentialed and well-connected professionals, including more than 400 former US Senators and House members, plus more than 5,000 former legislative staffers – all cashing in on the connections and insider knowledge they gained at taxpayer expense. Lobbying is now a $3.3 billion-a-year influence industry – an unelected, private government of, by, and for special interests. And get this – it even has its own lobbying group, the American League of Lobbyists, which lobbies for lobbyists!

As you might imagine, having such a powerful presence has given many within LobbyWorld an elevated sense of their own worthiness, so they now want to drop the tacky label of “lobbyist.” Instead, the League of Lobbyists is asking its members to suggest a more prestigious (and less pejorative) brand name. Reportedly, an early favorite is “Government Relations Professional.” But that’s too ponderous. I think any new phrase needs to spell out a zippy acronym – like SLICK, CREEP, or LEECH – that really defines their work.

To paraphrase Shakespeare, a lobbyist, by any other name, would smell the same.

“Lobbyists Look for a Euphemism,” The New York Times, September 22, 2013.

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